I really try not to laugh at the misfortunes of others but this did make me giggle just a little bit.
I see you in colors that don’t exist.
Some days I treat my body like a costume
and I feel like a mascot for a school no body wants to go to
I know this sounds weird but I wonder what my bed sheets say about me when I’m not around
I wonder what the curtains would do if they found out about all the things I’ve done behind their back
I have a hamper that’s over flowing with really really loud mistakes
and a grave yard in my closet
I’m afraid if I let you see my skeletons
you’d grind my bones into powder and get high off my fault lines.
I often forget my skin is not a panic room
I enjoy frozen yogurt, people watching, and laughing for absolutely no reason
but I don’t allow myself to cry as often as I need to
I have solar power confidence
And a battery operated smile
My hobbies include
Editing my life story
Hiding behind metaphors
And trying to convince my shadow
That I’m someone worth following
— Rudy Francisco, from “My Honest Poem” (via distincts)
Lies I’ve Told My 3 Year Old Recently
Trees talk to each other at night.
All fish are named either Lorna or Jack.
Before your eyeballs fall out from watching too much TV, they get very loose.
Tiny bears live in drain pipes.
If you are very very quiet you can hear the clouds rub against the sky.
The moon and the sun had a fight a long time ago.
Everyone knows at least one secret language.
When nobody is looking, I can fly.
We are all held together by invisible threads.
Books get lonely too.
Sadness can be eaten.
I will always be there.
ANGER + DISGUST = outrage
ANGER + SADNESS = betrayal
ANGER + FEAR = caged animal
DISGUST + FEAR = horror
SADNESS + SURPRISE = disappointment
emotional mixtures for drawing facial expressions
formulated by Scott McCloud in Making Comics
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HAVE A VODKA WATERFALL! I CAN’T FEEL ANY PART OF MY BODY RIGHT NOW!
I WORK IN PHARMACEUTICAL PATENT LAW AND I’M AN INSURANCE INDUSTRY LOBBYIST ON THE SIDE! I HAVE AN EXFOLIATING SCRUB PAD THAT’S JUST DIAMONDS! YESTERDAY I BOUGHT $4200 SOCKS!
SUPER JEALOUS! CAN YOU TURN THE VOLUME UP ON THE STEREO? THIS IS MY FAVORITE FERGIE SONG.
STEREO! THAT’S HILARIOUS! MARVIN, RUN OVER TO THE PATIO AND TELL MS. FERGUSON’S SOUND ENGINEER TO INCREASE THE VOLUME ON THE MAIN SPEAKERS. AND HAVE HER PERFORM THIS SONG TWICE. KEVIN FANCIES IT.
HOW COME EVERY TIME YOU COME ‘ROUND MY LONDON LONDON BRIDGE WANNA GO DOWN?
AH, KEVIN, I’VE MISSED YOU. YOU SHOULD VISIT MORE OFTEN.
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